When it comes to overthinking, we're all susceptible but when does it get in the way of us wanting to live our life fully? Here's the thing. When it comes to Anxiety, society has got it all wrong. We’re often let to believe that Anxiety is an illness or a disorder, when in actual fact, it’s really just a word that has carried an unhelpful story. When we break it down, we're really just a talking about a combination of feelings, emotions and experiences that all human beings encounter. Fear, panic and catastrophic thoughts. On a much smaller scale this might present as worry and self-doubt (aka. overthinking), but all are driven by the same emotion: fear.
Whether the anxiety you experience is severe or mild literally depends on how intense each of these experiences are for you PERSONALLY, and the degree to which they impact your life and the one you wish to live. Which means, it's not so much about Anxiety at all, but rather, the awareness of your own independent experience.
Does your overthinking cause you to stay awake at night? Do you constantly feel like you're rushing around always trying to get to the next thing without ever being able to enjoy the now? Do you worry about what you did, said or didn't say and get caught in a cycle of frustration and guilt? If so, your overthinking is probably impacting the life you are trying to live.
We’re literally ALL capable of overthinking, but when our mind and body is balanced, this type of mental overdrive rarely exists. These days though, very few people actually feel truly balanced. Most are running around constantly plugged in to something, with little or no quality time for the self. As a result, they operate with a highly activated Nervous System which means when they do stop at the end of each day, they notice that they can't fully relax. This is usually because they feel totally wound up and find themselves caught in a whirlwind of conflicting thoughts.
If you're overthinking, it's likely you also feel on edge, notice that your mind is pulled in a million different directions or find that it's near impossible or overwhelming to make even the simplest decision. You may recognise that your thoughts are usually fear based which means you often focus on time, experience paralysis, self-doubt, insomnia, obsessive planning or rushing around. If you're in this space, you've probably realised that you feel a total lack of peace, clarity, connection or confidence.
The truth is, the more wired your nervous system, the more overthinking, fear, doubt and worry you will feel, and the more apparent it becomes. When you continually ignore these experiences in your life, they can start having a much greater impact on your ability to enjoy life.
However, it's not enough to just wait until you notice the severe impacts. Overthinking at any level means you are leaking energy, and at the core, indicates stress. Whether your experience feels severe or not, overthinking takes up energy that could be used elsewhere which means it is robbing you of what's possible.
The biggest issue I see is that when most people begin to recognise the effects of their overthinking, they’re already quite deeply entrenched in chronic stress or survival patterns (7 Signs You Are Living In Survival Mode). Of absolute no fault of their own, they often haven’t recognised the impact of, or been able to self-regulate at a much earlier point in time. This isn't something many of us were taught how to do when growing up, but without it, we don't ever feel truly balanced.
Sadly, the medical system is often responsible for perpetuating a lot of the problem when it comes to this. They've practically labelled everything these days which often falls on the person instead of the experience.
When people go to the doctor because they can't switch off, feel like they might have OCD or can't sleep, they’re often told that they HAVE anxiety. When you are told it is something that you HAVE, you often feel like it is a part of who you are which leaves you feeling like you have to deal with it forever. This prevents you from ever really shifting those feelings and emotions because you have been led to identify with it. This is literally one of the MAIN reasons why medication has become so popular. People have been made to feel like they need it, when very often, they are capable of shifting the experience themselves.
No one really HAS anxiety. Anxiety is simply something they feel and anything we feel is simply an EXPERIENCE. Which means... we can totally shift it.
What if I said that you don’t need anything outside of yourself to reduce your overthinking and that YOU have all the power you need to shift it? Take it from me… I reversed years of stress induced anxiety experiences including panic attacks, insomnia, and many others that definitely would have been slapped with labels like: OCD, Eating Disorder and Depression. I don't believe in using labels because the reality is, they are just a set of emotions and feelings I was having, none of which are permanent.
Part of reducing your overthinking (and any other experience that may be happening in parallel) comes from understanding that these experiences are not something that you ever get rid of entirely. It’s not about having them or not having them. Rather, it is about aiming to balance your mind and body so that they dissolve and if they do appear, it becomes a HELPFUL aid.
When anxious feelings are present, it tells us that we are not balanced and indicates other helpful information such as emotions that we may not have recognised, or actual threats to be aware of. When you live life without having an activated nervous system, your anxious feelings appear when they are supposed to and this helps you, instead of completely ruining your life.
So many people experience the DEBILITATING effects of overthinking everyday. Some of those don’t recognise how amazing they would feel if their mind and body were actually at peace, whilst others may have been led to believe that what they feel is something they must learn to “manage” forever.
The truth is, everyone is TOTALLY capable of shifting these experiences and improving how they feel on their own. I promise you that you have everything you need and MORE to do this, and I’ve compiled the following list to help you do just that.
So, here are 7 ways you can start reducing your overthinking right now and free up more energy in your life:
1. Say NO More Often
When I was chronically stressed and anxious, I was always BUSY. Somehow I had an overwhelming schedule and I was always running from one thing to the next. If people requested things of me or asked me to do something, I never even thought to say no. Instead I would check my calendar and move things around to make it happen no matter what.
I was constantly overloaded with attending events, work duties or seeing people and 99% of the time I dreaded it, wishing I had of said no and feeling totally and utterly exhausted.
Learning to say NO absolutely changed my life and it can for you too. I can’t express how liberating it is to actually choose to spend your time doing what YOU want instead of accepting whatever is thrown at you. You have a choice and you are the only one who can change how busy you are. I haven’t been busy for about 5 years now and I don’t plan on being busy ever again. It’s a choice and one you can make instantly.
Your mind and body will absolutely thank you and the inner peace and lack of overthinking is totally worth it in my opinion.
2. Create Moments of Stillness
During the times where I was severely stressed and anxious, my calendar and schedule didn’t seem to allow any “me” time. I was always desiring a Friday night in or some time but I never actually allowed it or prioritised it. I ran most of my life on the thought: “I’ll do it when I get the time”. Little did I realise that this would NEVER happen. I would never get the time because I wasn’t choosing it for myself.
First and foremost, starting to create stillness in my life meant saying NO. That was the moment I began choosing that me and my health was the MOST important thing, and recognising that I had ALL the power.
Creating stillness was hard because I was chronically stressed so I was always overthinking and addicted to being busy. I thought it induced anxious feelings but really, I was just having to pay attention to them instead of keeping myself distracted with other people or things. Inviting in short moments of stillness into my life was THE BIGGEST life changing action I took. I can’t emphasise enough how crucial it is for shifting overthinking and anxiety in general.
When you take time for yourself WITHOUT any distractions (people, electronics, books etc), your nervous system is able to come to rest and in the process, you become aware of so many things that you hadn’t noticed before. This is all tremendous for your growth and for your expansion as an individual. For me, this led to greater depths of freedom and allowed me to completely create the life I live now.
Side note: You don’t need to jump into meditation straight away. If you feel resistant to this at first, just aim for a simple thing like a walk or drinking your drink all on your own without doing anything else.
3. Get Rid Of Stimulants AND Intoxicants
Waking up from feeling like I never slept was the usual experience when I felt chronically stressed and going straight for a double shot coffee was my daily experience. At some points I was having 3 coffees before 10am and 1 or 2 after that. There were times where I would also consume pre-workout drinks before doing exercise which contained more caffeine again, and most of my weekends were filled with drinking many alcoholic beverages.
At the time I was so exhausted and depleted from never sleeping that it felt like my only choice to get through the day. I had not realised the immense impact that all of these substances were having on my nervous system and my thought patterns. The coffee may have allowed me to focus but it raised my agitation levels, irritability and caused further distress in my mind and on my body. My ability to sleep deteriorated and it kept me stuck in a cycle that destroyed my health.
Drinking at the weekends always raised my fear the following day, often leaving me with intense worry and self-doubt. Whilst it had calmed me down in the first instance and allowed me to switch off from the stress, it also kept me in a cycle that further impacted my health.
Getting rid of (or at least reducing) stimulants and intoxicants is crucial for allowing your body to ground and your nervous system to come to rest. Whilst you may feel like it's helping in the moment, it’s always worth asking the question: “how do I want to feel later, tomorrow, next week?”
4. Access More Supportive Relationships
I had lived the majority of my life feeling worried, fearful and stressed, although had little recognition of it until my late teens when panic attacks started. My friends and family circle had been my normal for such a long time that I had little understanding of how things or people were affecting me and the anxiousness I was feeling.
Often we don’t realise that our existing relationships can cause a lot of stress. We may constantly feel like we can’t truly say how we feel or try to think two steps ahead all the time to prevent any conflict from occurring. All of this micromanaging of the self creates internal conflict that contributes to more overthinking and wasted energy.
Not only this, but when we are used to dealing with people who judge us, laugh at us, try to fix us or take things personally, it can be extremely harmful and difficult to experience acceptance and peace.
Opening myself up to more relationships that felt safe and supportive allowed me to see the difference between having support and FEELING supported. Sometimes your existing friends and family are not able to give you what you need and that’s totally okay. You’re not saying that they are bad people or that you are better than them. You’re simply saying that you deserve to get your needs met and that is important if you want to experience more peace of mind.
With more of the right people around, it feels natural and easy to be yourself which reduces the tension you may regularly experience and has the potential to create deeper levels of connection.
5. Put Yourself FIRST
For most of my life I was focusing on everyone else. I was always making sure that everyone was okay and often gave all my energy and attention to others. If people requested things of me, I would drop everything without a second thought and make it happen. I had trained myself from childhood that how other people were feeling was somehow more important than myself.
I was completely self-abandoning at every turn, saying “I don’t mind” because I thought I was easy breezy when in fact, I had never taken the time to ask myself how I felt or what I wanted. I had never believed that it mattered enough.
This self-abandoning pattern meant that I lived in a never ending pendulum of resentment and guilt. I’d feel guilty if I ever wanted to say no or do something for myself and totally resentful towards others for when I allowed something to happen. I felt totally unseen, unheard and most of the time, was always overthinking because I was completely riddled with self-doubt and worry.
Deciding that I mattered was crucial in shifting my experience and it is for you as well. If you are someone that always thinks about how others feel before yourself, it’s likely that you don’t put your own needs first. Take a moment to really decide that you matter and flip the switch immediately. It takes practice, but setting the intention is enough to get the ball rolling.
6. Prioritise Sleep
When you’re chronically stressed and your mind won't stop clanging about, sleep doesn’t come easy! For years I was unable to sleep and if I did, my unconscious mind was literally thinking all night long. I would wake up feeling like I had been hit by a bus on the regular and it impacted every other aspect of my life.
Sleep needs to be a priority because it literally changes your mindset because of the energy you have which means that it has the power to make everything else harder or easier in your day. When your nervous system is in overdrive, your cortisol levels are usually all over the place which means it takes a good 8-10 weeks to settle down, regardless.
During this process, I found it helpful to start paying attention to what helped and what hindered a good night sleep. I let go of things that did not support a good night’s sleep such as no coffee after 12pm, reduced and then stopped drinking, got rid of intoxicants and became more mindful of food I ate (and at what time), as well as letting go of screens at least an hour before bed.
By letting go of what was not helping my sleep, I was able to increase the things that did and over time, my sleep began to have a positive knock on effect with my overall mindset. Shifting your chronic experiences take time but the benefits are IMMENSE and truly worth it. I can’t emphasise that enough.
When you can improve your quality of sleep, you literally feel more energetic and this allows you to have a calmer mind, fewer thoughts and more space and energy for what you love.
7. Understand Yourself More Deeply
Throughout the process of taking all of the above steps, I began to understand myself SO much more deeply. By saying no to things I was able to create space in my life for myself and for stillness which naturally led to an increased awareness of what I was feeling, thinking and any patterns that were harming me or creating stress.
I noticed that fear began to dissipate as I began to understand why I felt the way I did and this allowed me to develop greater depths of inner peace and confidence. Things on the outside may bring us temporary happiness or an illusion of healing, but when we go through a conscious growth journey with our own own mind, we realise that we are able to develop all of these things inside. Even if we experience something again, we have a newfound wisdom, more confidence and a higher base level of happiness, fulfillment and peace to respond.
Life begins to really sing the more you get to know yourself, and the more you take action toward becoming the highest version of yourself. Where external things bring temporary relief, personal power brings permanent change. It stays and it grows which makes life so much more fulfilling and enjoyable.
With a deeper understanding of yourself, you are able to let go of more and more of what no longer serves you, leading to a more grounded and peaceful life. Goodbye life that feels like a struggle, hello life that I actually enjoy!
What’s the takeaway?
What is true is that all humans experience Anxiety. Although you may have been led to believe that Anxiety is something you HAVE, it is important to remember that it is actually something you FEEL. When you know that it is simply an experience of emotions and feelings, you are able to touch the truth that you have the power to shift them and change your relationship to them.
It’s not about eradicating them but rather, bringing your mind and body into alignment and finding true balance and grounding as an individual. In this space, overthinking rarely exists and when it does appear, you are able to see what needs attention.
By taking action on your own and knowing that you CAN shift your own experience, you are able to not only find deeper levels of peace and harmony, but you can expand what is possible in EVERY area of your life.
When you develop personal power, you begin to build greater confidence, more inner peace and greater levels of happiness that are untouched by outside sources. You can freely do what you want without feeling like your mind is in disarray or that you are plagued by indecision, or unable to take steps toward what you really want to do in your life.
By approaching the above steps, you have the capacity to heal, grow and change the trajectory of what is possible for YOU. I know this to be true, because it happened for me and it can happen for you as well. When you can let go of thinking that your experiences are something to be fixed, and instead focus on upgrading your life, life begins to get REALLY damn interesting.
Know that life isn’t meant to feel like a push. You are not meant to be LIVING in a state of fear, worry and self-doubt. When you shift your experiences on your own, you also develop the personal power you need to truly live your own life and choose how you wish to live. You get to determine what you do every day without the chaos of your mind and body holding you back. You get to know the freedom of the present moment and that’s what life is all about.
There is nothing greater.
If you found this article helpful, why not share it?
If you liked this article, you might also like:
Are you looking for a space to talk?
If you are looking for a safe place to reflect or have a desire for self-development, Holistic Counselling could be just the thing for you. You can read more about it below.
Molly is a Holistic Counsellor with qualifications in Holistic Counselling, Life Coaching & Meditation Therapy. However, most of what she brings to the table is her personal human experience and dedication to self healing and growth. She is the founder of Mind Habitat which offers Holistic Counselling to individuals who want to heal their anxiety naturally and develop personal power in their life. You can book a session with Molly here or visit the Mind Habitat homepage here.
Comments